Religious Philosophies in a Nutshell

Catholicism: if shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: shit won`t happen if you work harder.
Judaism: Oh, why does the shit always happen to me?
Islam: if shit happens, take a hostage.
Buddism: if shit happens, is it really shit?
Hinduism: The shit happened before.
Hare Krisna: Shit happens rama, lama, ding, dong...
Rastafarianism: Let`s smoke this shit.